Another Adventure
This is a continuation of "Forced to Perform in Real Life" — part of an ongoing series about finding my way as an artist.
I think it was halfway through our training when Ron announced that he was offering an additional program — where you would not only learn how to create a show from scratch with original material, but have him guiding and directing you through the whole process.
My first reaction was: Really? Now you have to put me in front of that choice? Didn't I just want to dive a bit deeper into the Lecoq approach? Well — not a bit. Lots, in fact. My second reaction didn't wait long either: I guess I'm in, then. Yay, let's do it. Another adventure. That was it. Not many more thoughts wasted.
It sounds as if I'm someone who just dives in head first, but let me assure you — this only ever happens when something is sitting right in my passion, right in what I truly feel pulled toward.
Other than that, decisions have often been excruciating for me, full of fear of doing the wrong thing with dire consequences. Quite the contrast, I know.
Then everything somehow fell into place effortlessly. After our training finished, I went to Dzogchen Beara, a Buddhist centre in Ireland I'd visit and volunteer at whenever I needed a break. So, this time again, I went for the summer.
The idea for my show came to me while meditating. I saw the image of a circus director trying to guide the animals. It struck me like a lightning bolt. That was it: Circus of Emotions.
Someone trying to control their emotions, and them running wild. Kind of! I was excited — so excited. While still at the centre, I started building four big masks representing four different animals, four different elements, four different qualities. I kept them abstract, because I didn't want them to be too obvious — but I knew the quality I was after while making each one, and trusted the right shape would emerge. It did. I had a horse (wind), a lion (fire), a snake (water), and a bull (earth).
Back in London, I found a lovely place to stay for a couple of months, until I could move back into the house I'd come to love — an old Victorian one in Lewisham, close to a park. Ten of us lived there. I became friends with Teresa, an artist who owned the house, and with many others. I loved Ruby, who was from Hawaii and used to offer me some of her rum chicken — so good. Steve, another volunteer, from Australia, told me I was weird. A wonderful guy, and we became close.