Pretending to Be a Mouse

This is a continuation of "Off to Another Adventure" — part of an ongoing series about finding my way as an artist.

I also started taking private lessons from a film actor, because I wanted to learn how to play in front of the camera. So when the opportunity arose to go to LA for a month-long training in film acting, I jumped on it. I remember there were quite a few people who didn't understand why I had to do it in LA, when I could just do it in Germany.

But what's exciting about that?

For me, it was a no-brainer. I found a beautiful apartment in the hills, had a rental car, and was driving to different studios across the city. We had various teachers offering different perspectives and approaches. Driving in LA was a little daunting — pre-Sat Nav times, with road signs that only gave you general directions, North, South. What the heck!

There were some teachers and approaches I particularly loved.

First, there was Bjorn, who taught Stanislavski to an international class of students. We had to prepare a monologue to perform for him, and he also gave our small group a separate lesson of its own. He was extremely perceptive — just a wonderful teacher. Part of me would have loved to stay on, to take more classes with him. He was originally from Norway, and we went to see him perform the lead in a theatre production of Educating Rita — he was excellent, and got a standing ovation at the end.

I'll never forget the feedback he gave me afterward, when we were all sitting on his roof terrace, having worked through our monologues a little more. He started by describing watching me find something in the work, lean into it, decide it was bullshit, and go another route entirely — "I thought, she's got taste. I want to train her."

Then he went further:

"You are a leader, and not a timid little mouse. This is just a defense mechanism. Allow other people to see you, and to be seen. Vulnerability and power!"

Isn't it amazing how much some words can impact us.

There was also Cecilia, an actress from Sweden who focused on voice and body. She later came to Munich for a weekend workshop, where I liked her even more. It was fantastic.

And then there was Pamela's approach — diving deep into myth work and archetypes, teaching us how to build characters from that source.

I loved her book The Inner Drives so much I nearly underlined the whole thing, in bright pink and yellow.

Funnily enough, Corinna happened to be in the States at the same time, and decided to pay me a visit. It became one of those days I'll never forget, because it was so completely in the flow. We both just loved to see what would happen and float along with it — and so we floated through a wonderfully inspiring day: a late breakfast, driving along the coast, stumbling onto a beautiful beachside restaurant called Paradise Cove, purely by accident — and only because we followed the knife-and-fork sign.

I never became a film actress. But I for sure found my love for working with the camera, and eventually, for creating my own film adventures. More about that another time, though.